Enjoy The Decline

Late at night, you’re tucked snugly inside your bed sheets. You grab your phone from your nightstand, lay your head back in to the pillow, hold the phone above your face, and start watching [your favorite YouTuber here].

One hour later, and you’ve been watching videos non-stop, not even aware of the time that has passed. You’re way too far down the rabbit hole now to stop. God cannot help you now. Suddenly, you find yourself watching a video of a 13-year old kid doing a sick kick flip on his skateboard right before rolling up to smack a grown woman’s ass. He immediately does a flip and dabs. Boom! 1,000,000,000 views and likes, tons of comments, and 10 sponsorship deals later, you finally reach the end of the video.

You pause for a second, asking yourself, “What the hell did I just watch?”
Congratulations; you’ve just entered the world of the youth that you’re so desperately out-of-touch with.

People like Stephen Fernandez, Jake and Logan Paul, Mr. Beast, David Dobrik, and so on are the new celebrities for kids nowadays, whether you like it or not. As soon as you even find out who one of these people are, they’re already out of style. The youth have moved on to the next online superstar. You can’t believe what kids are in to today, and now you’re worried because you sound like your parents. Whatever happened to good ol’ lake rock throwing, and beating up nerds behind the school dumpster?

Welcome to the new world of Generation “Like,” where an influx of low-brow content floods your dumb kids brains every single day and people compete for attention by being as loud as possible. It’s already too late to stop this, so you might as well enjoy the decline.

Your local cynical old man,
Conner Warren

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